I have seen it as the subject of workshops and the title of best sellers (doesn’t compare to Social Combat Theory the book, Wink,Wink, Hint Hint.)

The truth though, is that the notion of difficult people is really a myth.

I know what your thinking. Your thinking, “Myth…Really? Well clearly you haven’t met my co-worker Mr. Rude or Overbearing Boss-Man, and lets not forget Suffocatingly Large Ego guy.

True, I have not and I do believe with all my heart that these people are very difficult for you to deal with. (Time for the big But.)

BUT,

The thing is, if you want to be able to deal with such people you have to understand that these people are not by definition rude, overbearing, egotistical or whatever other type of quality you can’t stand. It is only relative to your personal disposition that they come off that way to you.

To put it another way, as far as these guys are concerned, you might come off to them as shy, timid or unsure of yourself.

“Wait just a minute” you say. “I am the normal one, they’re the extreme freaks.”

True, untrue… Who cares?

Lets talk tachles (or Turkey, as you gentiles like to say.)

Even if there were some great reference guide you can refer to where your personality is compared to that of your opponents and it clearly references them as being the difficult ones, you will be vindicated but not successful….(how great would that be though.)

You need to focus on accomplishing tasks and achieving, nay, even surpassing your goals. And yes, I am assuming your goals constitute more than just vindication.

Don’t waste your time frothing at the mouth and dreaming up ways of dispatching your “difficult” colleague. It just clouds your mind and keeps you further from success.  Besides, frothing at the mouth is disgusting and you’ll only manage to make someone else’s difficult people list.

Instead you must try to understand your colleague. Not in a couples therapy way but rather as a hunter studies his prey. If you must work with this individual then that means you need them to accomplish your tasks and achieve your goals on one level or another.  In Social Combat terms that means they are your opponent. Study your opponent. Understand their behaviors. Which approaches trigger what kinds of reactions etc. Then: formulate a strategy to elicit the desired reaction, implement it, evaluate your progress in real time, adjust as needed, and continue until you achieve.

How to evaluate opponents is a learned skill and is what social Combat Theory is all about. So read the book Social Combat Theory and always look to grow as a Social Combat Artist..