Social combat theory, when you get down to it, is essentially about bridging the cognitive gap between physical combat and social combat.  The goal is to match ones reaction time in social combat with the reflexive/instinctual reaction time of physical combat.  Just as a trained fighter immediately selects the appropriate defense for an oncoming punch and executes it with perfect form, all without a drawn out cognitive process, we desire that same reflexive/instinctual yet highly honed technique from the social combat artist on the social battlefield.  In arguments and negotiations.  In sales pitches, lectures and counseling sessions.  Anywhere where resistance to ones needs/goals may arise we want the social combat artist to feel comfortable naturally maneuvering around or powerfully breakthrough any obstacle in the way of his need/goal.  It so happens, as it is the desire to narrow the gap between physical and social combat reactions, that one of the best ways of accomplishing just that lies in training scenarios where the conflicts border between the physical and the social.  Those conflicts which could unexpectedly go either way with an ill placed word or gesture or which can be intentionally guided on a desired path with an intended word or gesture.  Where either someone is going to get injured or a peaceful outcome will be reached with someone achieving their need/goal over the other.  I therefore bring you the Huka Chronicles.

(I am going to take some liberty with the dialogue here as I do not remember the exact content but I will try to be as faithful to the events and how they actually occurred as possible.)   

It was evening on one warm night and I was on my way home from a days work.  While heading up to our apartment I notice a group of teenagers hanging out in the front garden of our apartment complex.  The garden is meant only for residents of our building but as long as they were not bothering anybody it didn’t bother me that they were there.  Unfortunately they were bothering people.  It seemed they had themselves some kind of air horn which they were apparently using before I showed up and began using again after I had climbed the stairs to our apartment.  My wife asked me if I could get them to stop.  Our baby daughter had just gone to bed and she did not want them waking her up, besides, it was simply rude and obnoxious to be blowing an air horn at night in a private bedroom community for no other reason than to act like a delinquent.

My first attempt was something of a bluff as I merely yelled down at them to be quiet, half heartedly hoping that would be enough.  It was not… as expected.  I then proceeded to walk down toward them.  They were sitting in the garden on a semi crescent stoop with a Huka (sort of like a large bong for smoking tobacco) in the middle of them.  There were around six of them, all smiling and staring up at me standing in the middle.  “What’s that noise?” I asked them flat out.  “What noise?” they asked back smiling smugly and snickering.  I was really not in the mood for games having just got home from a days work.  Instead of trudging down this hopeless path and giving them more power as an equal party in negotiation, I merely reached down and grabbed their Huka. 

The smiles vanished. 

Whatever was going to happen from here on at least we were going to get to it quick. 

One of the smaller members of the group with shifty eyes and a major inferiority complex made the first move.  He stood up right in my face challenging me.  I pushed him back down to his seat telling him to sit down as I did so.  I was now about to try to talk to them from a position of authority and strength.  It might just have worked too except for one x-factor, (those annoying x-factors).  This little tough guy was willing, stupid or crazy enough to push this confrontation further then I was willing to.  He stood up again and tried to reach for the Huka.  I easily moved it out of his reach. Now, the thing about Hukas, as I now know is that they are made up of a few fragile pieces, loosely put together. Consequently, as I swung the Huka away, the bottom part came off and crashed to the ground, shattering itself and my initial plan of speaking with authority an getting these kids out of there quick. 

There I was standing in the middle of a bunch of angry, teenagers, holding the remaining top half of their now shattered Huka and the proverbial remnants of my initial strategy.  I now had to come up with some creative strategic gymnastics if I wanted to salvage the situation and maintain a position of control.  Thank G-d a course of action did come to mind.  My training kicked in and my natural reaction without missing a beat was to simply smile.  I could have yelled, protested that this was their fault and most assuredly got into a physical confrontation right then and there but I simply smiled, which did seem to throw them off for a second and left me as the guy in the middle, still with the plan (from their perspective at least).  After a second they began to yell saying look at what you did but their tone seemed to say “now what?”  So I answered them.  “Look.” I said continuing to smile.  “You kids are here on our private property disturbing our community.  I don’t care if you want to sit here quietly smoking your Huka and hanging out but you were blowing your air horn and bothering everyone for no reason.”  “But what are you going to do about our Huka?” they yelled.  I said “I’ll tell you what.  If I do not hear another sound from you tonight, then tomorrow one of you can come over and I will pay you for the Huka.  (It was about ten dollars.)  If I hear you guys disturbing this community again though I won’t pay you a thing.” 

As I was only then beginning to realize, my natural trained reaction was turning the tables in my favor.  Where as at first it was I who wanted something from them, i.e. quiet.  They now wanted something from me i.e. the Huka or its value.  They wanted me to pay them right away but I told them I did not trust them.  They insisted they would leave right away if I just payed them.  I reiterated that I did not trust them and added that I did not have the money right now to pay them anyway so they should send someone tomorrow.

Now we were already negotiating on what I wanted.  Whether or not they would leave was no longer a question, let alone their not disturbing the neighborhood anymore. I achieved my immediate need/goal.  At this point the rest was just details although the situation was still volatile and I still had to be careful.  I began ignoring the yelling ones and focusing on the most calm of the bunch.  He was not the weak one, just the most rational.  He then in turn worked on the others for me, helping to spread his rational frame of mind and they eventually agreed upon which one of them would come the next day.  After all was agreed and they walked away I then again returned to take the stand of authority as apposed to negotiator.  I addressed all of them although I only looked at the rational one.  I told them that most people would not make any deal after the way they had been acting.  I was going to pay for their Huka but if they disturbed our community like that again I would break their Huka intentionally and not pay for a thing.  I was trying to put a lid on the whole situation for the future as well.  It seemed like it worked at the time but life is dynamic and conflict more so.

A situation that could have easily turned violent ended with me purchasing quiet for my building for a mere ten dollars.  If only that was the end.  Something about them walking away and cursing under their breadth made me skeptical that it would be.

The Huka Chronicles II- coming soon!